Metadata
- Author: Derek Sivers
Highlights
Our actions always reveal our real values.” — location: 112
“If they really wanted to do it, they would have done it. — location: 114
No matter what you say, your actions reveal the truth.” — location: 116
No matter what you tell the world or tell yourself, your actions reveal your real values. Your actions show you what you actually want. — location: 119
There are two smart reactions to this: Stop lying to yourself, and admit your real priorities. Start doing what you say you want to do, and see if it’s really true. — location: 121
It’s crucial to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Most people don’t know. They just go with the flow. — location: 133
Whatever you decide, you need to optimize for that goal, and be willing to let go of the others. — location: 138
But whatever you choose, brace yourself, because people are always going to tell you that you’re wrong. That’s why you need to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Know it in advance. Use it as your compass and optimize your life around it. — location: 150
People have different preferences in different parts of their lives. Famous online, but anonymous in their neighborhood. Generous with time, but stingy with money. Introvert when working, but extrovert when not. — location: 155
So an entrepreneur can imitate someone else’s business, and still be adding a great service to the world. — location: 171
You know that existing business that you wish you had thought of? Copy it. Why? Because we’re imperfect mirrors. — location: 166
So look around at those existing ideas in the world. You can imitate them and still be offering something valuable and unique. — location: 176
Old opinions shouldn’t define who we are in the future. — location: 193
Never forget that the public you is not you. — location: 207
Character isn’t fate or destiny. Character isn’t DNA, decided before birth. Character is the result of your little choices and little actions. — location: 214
How you do anything is how you do everything. It all matters. — location: 215
the book The Time Paradox, by legendary psychologist Phil Zimbardo, — location: 237
This concept even helps me understand myself when I’m acting out of character. If I’m acting too undisciplined, I realize it’s because I’ve stopped vividly seeing my future. I can only see the present. If I’m acting too disconnected, I realize it’s because I’m obsessed with my goals. I can see only the future. — location: 256
one little action changes how you think about yourself. — location: 262
You do just one thing that makes you feel generous, so you start to act generous, so you become generous. — location: 264
The world treats you as you treat yourself. Your actions show the world who you are. — location: 265
If you’re not feeling “Hell yeah, that would be awesome!” about something, say no. It’s an easier decision. Say no to almost everything. This starts to free your time and mind. — location: 276
Saying no makes your yes more powerful. — location: 279
it’s good to say yes when you’re starting out, wanting any opportunity, or needing variety, it’s bad to say yes when you’re overwhelmed, over-committed, or need to focus. — location: 280
“Hell yeah or no” is a filter you can use to decide what’s worth doing. — location: 292
This is a decision to stop deciding. It’s one decision, in advance, that the answer to all future distractions is “no” until you finish what you started. It’s saying yes to one thing, and no to absolutely everything else. — location: 292
Your first reaction is usually outdated. Either it’s an answer you came up with long ago and now use instead of thinking, or it’s a knee-jerk emotional response to something in your past. — location: 313
Someone asks you a question. You don’t need to answer. You can say, “I don’t know,” and take your time to answer after thinking. Things happen. Someone expects you to respond. But you can say, “We’ll see.” And maybe, through example, you can show them that they can do the same. — location: 315
When you notice that something is affecting your drive, find a way to adjust your environment, even if that’s a little inconvenient for others. — location: 333
I rebel against anything that feels like addiction. When I hear myself saying “I need this,” I want to challenge that dependency and prove my independence. — location: 338
Before you start something, think of the ways it could end. Sometimes the smart choice is to say no to the whole game. — location: 354
It’s unusual to be physically alone, but extremely social. A solitary socialite. — location: 358
When I’m feeling cloudy, my decisions and actions will be cloudy too. So I wait a few days before acting on anything. I watch the emotions pass by like a thunderstorm. And the longer I wait, the smarter I get. — location: 369
Focus helps me say no, because once you can clearly see where you’re heading, you’re less likely to let anything get in your way. — location: 379
When everyday responsibilities are done, my mind is less distracted. — location: 382
“the standard pace is for chumps” — that the system is designed so anyone can keep up. If you’re more driven than most people, you can do way more than anyone expects. And this principle applies to all of life, not just school. — location: 419
Silence is a great canvas for your thoughts. That vacuum helps turn all of your inputs into output. That lack of interruption helps you flow — location: 452
I say disconnect. Even if just for a few hours. Unplug. Turn off your phone and Wi-Fi. Focus. Write. Practice. Create. That’s what’s rare and valuable these days. — location: 455
this idea isn’t just about locations. Some people think they need expensive equipment to start a new hobby, certain clothes to look the part, or for everything to be just right. But resourceful people know they don’t. — location: 479
It’s so important to separate the real goal from the old mental associations. — location: 480
Some people think they need to go all the way to Thailand to meditate, or to India to learn yoga. But of course these are things they can do for free at home. — location: 475
Like everyone, I have a list of boring chores that need to be done but that I’ve been putting off for years. I never do them because I’m always more excited about something else. — location: 484
So the next time you’re feeling extremely unmotivated, do those things you never want to do anyway. — location: 490
Comparing up versus comparing down: Your happiness depends on where you’re focusing. — location: 496
Think like a bronze medalist, not silver — location: 491
Change your focus. Instead of comparing up to the next-higher situation, compare down to the next-lower one. — location: 497
most of the time, you need to be more grateful for what you’ve got, for how much worse it could have been, and how nice it is to have anything at all. Ambition versus gratitude. Comparing up versus comparing down. — location: 504
If we love doing something, it seems simple. We think of it as one fun step. — location: 509
If we hate doing something, we think of it as hard. We picture it having many annoying steps. — location: 508
Do you have a list of conditions you need to have met before you do something? Try changing “and” to “or.” — location: 522
When someone says they have only one option, they’re really saying, “I have no choice,” and you know that’s wrong. At the very least, add “do nothing” and “go insane” as options. — location: 525
They’re usually trying to decide between two options. But that’s not a decision — that’s a self-created dilemma! You have to remember that there are always more than two options. — location: 524
Great insight comes only from opening your mind to many options. Brainstorm them all, from the hybrids to the ridiculous. — location: 534
Ultimately, only you know what to do, based on all the feedback you’ve received and all your personal nuances that no one else knows. — location: 550
Early in your career, the best strategy is to say yes to everything. The more things you try, and the more people you meet, the better. Each one might lead to your lucky break. — location: 552
The new plan means you need to switch strategies again. — location: 559
The solution is to think long term. Do just one thing for a few years, then another for a few years, then another. — location: 562
Focus on one thing at a time, knowing you can do the other stuff afterwards. — location: 572
Most people overestimate what they can do in one year, and underestimate what they can do in ten years. Think long term. Use the future. Don’t be short sighted. Don’t be a donkey. — location: 572
Now I just assume I’m below average. It serves me well. I listen more. I ask a lot of questions. I’ve stopped thinking others are stupid. I assume most people are smarter than me. — location: 584
To assume you’re below average is to admit you’re still learning. — location: 586
Many people are so worried about looking good that they never do anything great. Many people are so worried about doing something great that they never do anything at all. — location: 587
Think of every bad thing that happened to you, and imagine that you happened to it. — location: 601
because that’s when I go somewhere unexpected. — location: 608
I pursue being wrong and lost in small doses. I love little lessons that surprise my expectations and change my mind. If we’re not surprised, we’re not learning. — location: 609
There are three things to consider when making life-size decisions: What makes you happy What’s smart — meaning long-term good for you What’s useful to others — location: 686
Do something for love and something for money. Don’t try to make one thing satisfy your entire life. — location: 717
If you have too much stability, you get bored. If you don’t have enough stability, you panic. So keep the balance. — location: 717
Your main obstacle to this amazing life will be self-control. You’ll need good time management to stop addictions like social media and video-watching, and make your art your main relaxing activity. You’ll need good mind management to not think of your job after you leave the office. — location: 729
Don’t expect your job to fulfill all your emotional needs. Don’t taint something you love with the need to make money from it. Don’t try to make your job your whole life. Don’t try to make your art your sole income. Let each be what it is, and put in the extra effort to balance the two, for a great life. — location: 734
What do you hate not doing? What makes you feel depressed, annoyed, or like your life has gone astray if you don’t do it enough? Answers to this double-negative question seem to be better indicators of what’s really worth doing. — location: 740
Learning without doing is wasted. If I don’t use what I learn, then it was pointless! How horrible to waste those hundreds of hours I spent learning, and not turn it into action. Like throwing good food in the trash, it’s morally wrong. — location: 748
The work is the point, and my work is unique. If I can do something that people find useful, then I should. It doesn’t matter if it’s a masterpiece or not, as long as I enjoy it. I’ve got my own weird angle on things that’s a useful counter-melody in the big orchestra of life. — location: 752
How I feel in this moment doesn’t matter — it will pass. Nobody’s judging me because nobody’s thinking of me. They’re just looking for ways to improve their own lives. The public me is not the real me anyway, so if they judge my public persona, that’s fine. — location: 750
When people expect you to make these decisions in advance, get used to saying, “We don’t know yet.” Then tell this simple story about walkways to show them how wise you are. — location: 765
Resist the urge to figure it all out in advance. Realize that now, in the beginning, is when you know the least. When people expect you to make these decisions in advance, get used to saying, “We don’t know yet.” Then tell this simple story about walkways to show them how wise you are. — location: 764
As time goes on, we get smarter. We learn more about ourselves or our customers — what we or they really want. Therefore, we’re at our dumbest at the beginning, and at our smartest at the end. — location: 761
So when should you make decisions? When you have the most information, when you’re at your smartest: as late as possible. — location: 762
“Don’t start a business until people are asking you to.” — location: 769
First you find real people whose problem you can solve. You listen deeply to find their dream scenario. You make sure they’re happy to pay you enough. — location: 771
Don’t announce anything. Don’t choose a name. Don’t make a website or an app. Don’t build a system. You need to be free to completely change or ditch your idea. Then you get your first paying customer. Provide a one-on-one personal service. Then you get another paying customer. Prove a real demand. Then, as late as possible, you officially start your business. — location: 772
I thought I was being selfless. But actually, like most things we consider selfless, they benefit me as much as him. — location: 800
Time really is limited. We can’t pretend it’s not. Time spent doing one thing is time spent not doing something else. — location: 808
It’s so hard to fight the resistance to do the more difficult but more important thing. Finishing that book. Writing that song. Launching that project. — location: 809
It’s so easy to waste time doing stuff that’s not important, not really fun, and not useful to anyone, not even yourself. It’s so hard to fight the resistance to do the more difficult but more important thing. Finishing that book. Writing that song. Launching that project. — location: 808
Sometimes the world is the same, but my situation has changed. What got me here won’t get me there. The solution is deliberate unlearning. Doubt what I know. Stop the habit of thinking I know it. Require current proof that it’s still true today. Otherwise, let it go. — location: 825
Alvin Toffler said, “The illiterates of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” — location: 831
The adding mindset is deeply ingrained. It’s easy to think I need something else. It’s hard to look instead at what to remove. — location: 839
More people die from eating too much than from eating too little. Most of us have too much baggage, too many commitments, and too many priorities. — location: 842
Subtracting reminds me that what I need to change is something already here, not out there. — location: 843
So when someone says, “They’re so stupid!” it means they’ve stopped thinking. They say it because it’s satisfying to jump to that conclusion. So if you decide someone is stupid, it means you’re not thinking, which is not being smart. Therefore, smart people don’t think others are stupid. — location: 850
what matters is what I get out of their work, not the person who made it. — location: 860
the act of reading a book is really about you and what you get from it. All that matters is what you do with the ideas, no matter the source. Apply them to your own life in your own way. It was never about them. It’s about you. — location: 862
You really learn only when you’re surprised. If you’re not surprised, then everything is fitting into your existing thought patterns. So to get smarter, you need to get surprised, think in new ways, and deeply understand different perspectives. — location: 874
Don’t think of yourself as visiting. Say that you’ve moved here, and mean it. Commit. Immerse. Go native. — location: 879
Form deep friendships with locals. Ask lots of questions. Ask people to explain and show you how things are done. When they state a fact, ask how they know. When they state an opinion, ask for examples. — location: 880
You’re a product of your environment. — location: 884
Then, if you want to keep your brain actively learning and growing forever, keep moving across the world and immersing yourself like this for the rest of your life. — location: 886
Don’t focus on the example itself. Use it as a metaphor, and apply the lesson to my situation. — location: 892
Nobody else knows your exact situation. So learn to see past the example, focus on the lesson, and apply it to your own life. Think in metaphors. — location: 897
To make a change, you have to be extreme. Go all the way the other way. — location: 903
Nothing has inherent meaning. It is what it is and that’s it. We just choose to project meaning onto things. It feels good to make stories. — location: 926
The purpose of goals is not to improve the future. The future doesn’t exist. It’s only in our imagination. All that exists is the present moment and what you do in it. — location: 959
Judge a goal by how well it changes your actions in the present moment. — location: 960
Inspiration is not receiving information. Inspiration is applying what you’ve received. — location: 979
People think that if they keep reading articles, browsing books, listening to talks, or meeting people, they’re going to suddenly get inspired. But constantly seeking inspiration is anti-inspiring. You have to pause the input and focus on your output. — location: 980
But constantly seeking inspiration is anti-inspiring. You have to pause the input and focus on your output. — location: 981
You grow by doing what excites you and what scares you. — location: 1000
Best of all, once you do something that scared you, you’re not scared of it anymore! — location: 1006
Legendary psychologist Abraham Maslow said it well: “Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth). Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.” — location: 1007