Metadata
- Author: Derek Sivers
Highlights
Here’s how to live: Be independent. All misery comes from dependency. — location: 28
The only way to be deeply happy is to break all dependencies. — location: 30
Instead of standing out from the crowd, just avoid and ignore the crowd. — location: 38
Dogs bark. People speak. It doesn’t mean a thing. What they say and do has nothing to do with you, even if it seems directed your way. — location: 45
Don’t believe anything anyone says. Listen if you want, but always decide for yourself. — location: 49
Never agree with anything the same day you hear it, because some ideas are persuasively hypnotic. Wait a few days to decide what you really think. — location: 51
Quit a harmless habit for a month, just to prove you can. — location: 64
Learn the skills you need to be self-reliant. — location: 67
Live where you feel most free. — location: 73
Living in a foreign place helps make it clear that this culture’s rules don’t apply to you. — location: 74
Be a nomadic minimalist to break dependencies on stuff. — location: 78
Make friends wherever you go, so that no one place has all of your friends. — location: 84
Own your own business with many small customers to avoid depending on any big client. — location: 85
Offer products, not a personal service, so your business can run without you. Create many sources of income like this. — location: 86
You’ve been looking for the best person, place, or career. But seeking the best is the problem. — location: 98
The problem is a lack of commitment. — location: 97
You can stop seeking the best option. Pick one and irreversibly commit. Then it becomes the best choice for you. Voilà. — location: 103
When you’re stuck with something, you find what’s good about it. — location: 105
No choice is inherently the best. What makes something the best choice? You. You make it the best through your commitment to it. — location: 99
When you can’t change your situation, you change your attitude towards it. — location: 106
remove the option to change your mind. — location: 107
Indecision keeps you shallow. Get the deeper pleasure of diving into one choice. The English word “decide” comes from Latin “to cut off”. Choose one and cut off other options. — location: 111
Focus your attention on the few things you’re committed to, and nothing else. — location: 117
Find a community of like-minded people. — location: 123
Invite your neighbors over for a meal. Make friends. Make the effort. Borrow and lend. Trust and show you can be trusted. — location: 125
The good relationships you build will build you. — location: 129
You are friends, without question. You’re committed to each other, even if you’ve never said so. That’s what’s wonderful about it. — location: 139
You’re defined by what you do repeatedly. Your habits create your character. — location: 142
Commit to your habits to make them rituals. If it’s not important, never do it. If it’s important, do it every day. — location: 144
Starting is hard. The rest is easy. — location: 148
New habits are what you’re trying. Old habits are who you are. — location: 149
Marry someone you don’t want to change, who doesn’t want to change you. Someone that doesn’t punish you for mistakes. Someone who sees you as your highest potential. — location: 157
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is harder. — location: 160
Life is short. How to experience it all? Here’s the key: Here’s your mission: Nothing twice. Never eat the same food twice. Never go to the same place twice. Never hear the same thing twice. Everything only once. — location: 178
Be systematic. Follow guides. “Top Places You Must Visit” “Greatest Movies of All Time” “Best Restaurants in Town” Go through them all. That’s the optimized way to experience the most, without repetition. — location: 183
Always forward. Never back. Push yourself. — location: 186
Always talking to strangers. That’s what you need. — location: 200
The new situations are great for your brain. Never have the same thought twice. Keep nothing on your mind. — location: 208
Just take in what’s around you now. Have no expectation of how something should be, or you won’t see how it really is. — location: 210
Most of being a good person is not doing bad. — location: 223
All actions are optional. You don’t have to act or react. You don’t have to do anything. — location: 227
People make bad decisions because they felt they had to decide. It would have been wiser to do nothing. — location: 231
People who try too hard to be liked are annoying. — location: 235
Change your need to change things. — location: 241
Don’t hope. Hope is wanting things to be different than they are. — location: 244
Most of what people say and do is unnecessary. Most talk is just noise. — location: 247
Say nothing unless it must be said. People will appreciate your silence, and know that when you speak, it must be important. — location: 249
Practice feeling emotions intentionally, instead of using actions to create them. — location: 257
You think you want to take action or own a thing. But what you really want is the emotion you think it’ll bring. Skip the actions. Go straight for the emotion. Practice feeling emotions intentionally, instead of using actions to create them. — location: 254
When someone asks you to decide, just refuse. — location: 267
The longer you go without deciding, the more information is revealed. — location: 267
Just because somebody asked you a question doesn’t mean you have to answer it. — location: 269
Dramatic people are fueled by reactions. When you stop reacting, they go away. Same goes for yourself. — location: 270
Observe yourself. Your own mind is the best laboratory. It’s also the most private and peaceful place to work. To be wise, shut out all media and opinions. No news, no gossip, no entertainment. Most of it is not worth knowing. — location: 273
Things are neither good nor bad — they’re as neutral as a rock. — location: 277
When people give opinions, add a question mark. If they say, “Immigration is bad,” change it to, “Immigration is bad?” Let the questions drift away, unanswered. The unintelligent jump to conclusions. The wise just observe. — location: 278
Instead of learning more, get wise by learning less. Keep an empty head, so you can observe clearly. — location: 282
The less you do, the more you can see. Observe and learn. — location: 283
Everything seems more important while you’re thinking of it. Later, you’ll realize it’s not. — location: 294
Serve the future. Do small things now with huge benefits for your older self, your descendants, and future generations. — location: 308
Use a time machine in your mind, constantly picturing your future self and your great-grandchildren’s world. Act now to influence that time. — location: 310
Imagine your future self judging your current life choices. When making a decision, ask yourself how you’ll feel about it when you’re old. — location: 322
Today’s discomfort brings future rewards. — location: 325
Only spend money on things that do long-term good, like education. — location: 327
Many huge achievements are just the result of little actions done persistently over time. — location: 329
We overestimate what we can do in one year. We underestimate what we can do in ten years. — location: 333
Be extra-careful of habits that seem harmless. Imagine each choice continuing forever. — location: 335
When you choose a behavior, you choose its future consequences. — location: 338
Be a great ancestor. Plan your death. Write your will now. Make sure your heirs know where everything is, and who to contact. — location: 349
Your future self is depending on you. Your descendants are depending on you. Our future generations are depending on us. — location: 357
Understand that there is no “them”. It’s just “us”. Feel those connections. — location: 363
If you want a successful network of connections, what matters is not how many people you know but how many different kinds of people you know. — location: 367
Those who shout, “my country is the best!” are those who have never left. — location: 370
Only idiots think they’re always right. — location: 372
You can’t see your own culture while you’re inside of it. Once you get out and look back, you can see which parts of your personality actually come from your environment. — location: 373
Ask questions until you understand why things are the way they are. — location: 388
If you eventually need a permanent home, choose the place you’d want to be if everything goes wrong. Choose a culture that values what you value. — location: 413
Monotony is the enemy. Novelty is the solution. — location: 426
Document everything, or you’ll eventually forget it. — location: 431
Journal every day. Write down your activities, thoughts, and feelings for future reference. — location: 432
Turn your experiences into stories. A story is the remains of an experience. — location: 439
Video everything. Compile and edit them, so they’re appealing to watch. To enjoy your past is to live twice. — location: 434
How you feel about anything is based on how you look back at it. Your memory is influenced by how you feel now. In a bad mood, you might see only the dark side of events that are actually neutral. In a good mood, you might see the bright side of trauma. — location: 451
Make the lesson memorable, so you won’t do it again. — location: 459
You use your past to make your future. — location: 461
Mastery needs your full focused attention. The more you learn about something, the more there is to learn. You see what normal people don’t see. — location: 473
You spend time intentionally. Every month has a milestone. Every day has a goal. — location: 478
The most rewarding things in life take years. Only bad things happen quickly. — location: 479
Decisions are easy when you have only one priority. — location: 480
People don’t fail by choosing the wrong path — they fail by not choosing. Make your choice, then make a lifetime commitment to constant improvement. The passion comes after you start getting good. — location: 489
Define “success” for yourself. Describe the outcome you want. You can’t hit a target you can’t see. — location: 491
Goals don’t improve your future. Goals only improve your present actions. A good goal makes you take action immediately. A bad goal doesn’t. — location: 494
A goal shows what’s right and wrong. What moves you towards your goal is right. What doesn’t is wrong. — location: 496
You need ritual, not inspiration. Every day, no matter what, you must practice. Your practice ritual is your highest priority — an unbreakable commitment. — location: 500
It’s easy to continue, but if you stop, it’s hard to start again. — location: 503
Once you get momentum, never stop. It’s easy to continue, but if you stop, it’s hard to start again. — location: 502
Never miss a day. When you’re not practicing, remember: someone somewhere is practicing. When you meet them, they will win. — location: 504
If you get stuck, just stop and close your eyes. The vacuum will extract your actions again. How many push-ups could you do right now? But how many could you do if you took a ten-minute break between each set? Many more. That’s the secret. — location: 507
Take tiny breaks when working, to go longer than most. — location: 510
Focus means head down. Big picture means head up. — location: 511
The more you’re doing of one, the less you’re doing of the other. — location: 512
Don’t live somewhere pleasant surrounded by normal people. Live among your fellow freaks, where obsession is normal and ambition is rewarded. — location: 519
You don’t get extreme results without extreme actions. If you do what most people do, you’ll get what most people get. Don’t be normal. — location: 521
Nobody cares what you’re bad at, and neither should you. Amplify your strengths. Nobody will see the rest. — location: 530
Keep the rest of your life boring. Drama is a distraction. — location: 532
Focus everything on your work. Mastery is not about doing many things. It’s doing one thing insanely well. — location: 533
You do it for the journey, not the destination. Pursuing mastery is how to live. — location: 550
Life is more random than it seems. — location: 554
When talking with people, ask deep open-ended questions — like “What’s your biggest regret?” — that will lead to unexpected stories. — location: 575
Ask anyone “Why?” on any subject, and they’ll make up explanations. — location: 580
Randomness helps you learn acceptance. You can’t take the blame for failures. You can’t take credit for successes. You can’t regret what you didn’t cause. — location: 582
Random stuff happens. All you can control is your response. — location: 589
The pain of practice leads to mastery. Difficult conversations save your relationships. But if you avoid pain, you avoid improvement. — location: 593
Avoid risk, and you avoid reward. — location: 595
Anyone can be their best when things are going well. But when things go wrong, you see who they really are. — location: 596
Improvement is transformation. It brings the pain of loss of the comfortable previous self. It brings the pain of a new set of problems. — location: 599
People say they’re not doing the work because it’s hard. But it’s hard because they’re not doing the work. — location: 605
Comfort is a silent killer. Comfort is quicksand. The softer the chair, the harder it is to get out of it. — location: 607
Pain’s power relies on surprise. If you expect it, it’s weaker. If you choose it, it’s gone. — location: 612
Use it as your compass. Always take the harder option. Always push into discomfort. Ignore your instincts. — location: 610
Put yourself into stressful situations. — location: 623
Socially, try to get rejected. Learn about “rejection therapy”. Make audacious requests that you think will be denied. This removes the pain of rejection. And you’ll be surprised how often they say yes. — location: 624
Necessity is the best teacher. But it hurts. — location: 629
The best way to learn a foreign language is to stop speaking your mother tongue. No matter how embarrassing or frustrating, communicate only in your new language. Necessity is the best teacher. But it hurts. — location: 627
The sooner you pay a price, the less it costs. — location: 634
Practice taking on the various kinds of pain. Attempt something that seems impossible — something that terrifies you. Give a speech. Do a ten-day silent meditation. Quit a habit. Apologize to someone you wronged. — location: 630
Be absolutely honest with everyone. Stop lying, completely. You lie when you’re afraid. You lie to avoid consequences. Always say the truth. Take the painful consequences. — location: 635
Since you can’t avoid problems, just find good problems. — location: 643
Happiness isn’t everlasting tranquility. Happiness is solving good problems. That’s why we play games. Games are challenges. Any challenge can be turned into a game. — location: 644
Every pain has a lesson inside, and a reason why it hurts. Analyze it. Understand it. — location: 649
Problems persist until you claim them and solve them. Face them directly and they’ll disappear. — location: 652
Facing pain helps you relate to others. Your problems are never unique. Whatever problems you’ve had, many other people have had the same problem. — location: 655
The easy road leads to a hard future. The hard road leads to an easy future. Steering towards the pain is how to live. — location: 659
You know immediately whether you like something or not. But if someone asks why, you start making up reasons. The truth is you like it or you don’t. That’s it. That’s life. — location: 666
Do whatever you like. You don’t need explanations. — location: 668
Forget the whole notion of the future. There is only today. If you want to do something, do it now. If you don’t want to do it now, then you don’t want to do it at all, so let it go. — location: 673
You don’t need plans. Plans are just predictions about what you might want in the future. But your future self shouldn’t be bound to what your past self predicted. So never make plans. When someone asks, just say you can’t know until that day. — location: 682
Millions of young adults today are living a life their grandparents didn’t know was possible. They have more options, thanks to the brave adventures of a few people who broke through boundaries. — location: 715
Give away everything you haven’t used in a week. Ownership binds you to the past. — location: 770
The longer something lasts, the longer it will probably last. Something that’s been around for a year will probably be around for another year. Something that’s been around for fifty years will probably be around for another fifty years. — location: 793
When people ask you about current news, proudly have no opinion. — location: 816
Live in the past. Watch the greatest movies of all time. Read the classics. Listen to the legends. These things have lasted because they work so well. Time is the best filter. — location: 824
Don’t buy a bandage unless you have a wound. — location: 831
Spend time outside. Find happiness and perspective in nature. It reminds you that you don’t need anything the modern world is pushing. Everything they’re shouting about will soon be gone. — location: 842
Master the fundamentals, not new tricks. Learn the timeless aspects of your craft. This knowledge will never lose its value. — location: 847
The biggest obstacle to learning is assuming you already know. — location: 862
Never consider yourself an expert. It’s the strong swimmers who drown. Don’t believe what you think. Have questions, not answers. Doubt everything. — location: 863
The easiest person to fool is yourself. Don’t answer a hard question too quickly. — location: 865
Don’t stop at the first answer. In mystery stories, the first suspect is not the culprit. — location: 867
If you’re not embarrassed by what you thought last year, you need to learn more and faster. — location: 868
When you’re really learning, you’ll feel stupid and vulnerable — location: 869
Be surprised by something every day. Find that exciting moment when you get a completely new perspective. Like a movie that reveals something at the end which changes the way you think of everything you’ve seen before. — location: 870
Talk with people you usually avoid. Pursue subjects you know nothing about, and experiences unlike anything you’ve done before. — location: 875
If you’re not surprised — if you didn’t feel your brain changing — then you didn’t really learn. — location: 876
Only idiots never change their mind. — location: 878
Remember what you learn. Know why you’re learning. Information doesn’t stick without emotion. You learn better when you’re having fun. Take notes. Review them often. Make flash cards to remind your future self what you learned today. Quiz yourself with spaced repetition. — location: 880
Knowledge fades and eventually disappears unless you keep it refreshed. Internalize it. Don’t expect to just look it up when you need it. Integrate it into how you think. — location: 884
Knowledge is often described simply — “in a nutshell”. But the inside of a nutshell is complex. So crack open nutshells to understand them better. — location: 889
If you can’t explain it yourself, you don’t know it. — location: 894
Communicate knowledge to others to make sure you understand. Don’t quote. Put it in your own words without looking up or referencing what others said. If you can’t explain it yourself, you don’t know it. — location: 892
To communicate clearly, you have to think clearly. Writing is refined thinking. Public speaking tests your writing on a real audience. Great public speaking comes from great private thinking. — location: 894
Share what you learn so it can be received by others, even when you are long gone. — location: 899
Learning makes you a better person and makes the world a better place. — location: 900
As you age, you’ll lose muscle and beauty, but you won’t lose your wisdom. Learning is how to live. — location: 901
First, make a “born again” split. Let go of your old identity. Let your new self be incongruent with your old self. Let your friends and family know that you’ve changed. — location: 924
If your book is ancient, you may think it’s not enough since it doesn’t mention modern life. But nothing is truly new. Morals seem like they’ve changed in recent history. But really, morals haven’t changed in longer history. If you update the language and some references, books written thousands of years ago sound like they could have been written today. The human condition remains the same. Your book has all the wisdom you need. — location: 915
Bring your book with you everywhere as a constant reminder and reference. Refer to its rules in every situation, every day. Memorize its crucial sentences. Keep them at the forefront of your mind. — location: 927
Following rules is smart. It’s efficient. You don’t need to stop and re-think every situation. — location: 929
Being free from following emotions is freedom. — location: 938
Rules give you freedom from your desires. — location: 936
Rules are to save you from deciding. That’s why hard rules are easier to keep. — location: 945
Discipline turns intentions into action. Discipline means no procrastination. Discipline means now. — location: 946
Choose the pain of discipline, not the pain of regret. An undisciplined moment seems harmless, but they add up to disaster. Without discipline, the tiny things in life will be your downfall. — location: 948
Self-control is always rewarding. Self-control is always the right thing to do. This is a universal law. — location: 950
Your self-control is highest in the morning and diminishes during the day, so review your book’s rules every afternoon. — location: 952
Physical discipline helps mental discipline. Align your outer self with your inner self. — location: 953
If someone challenges your choices or asks you to explain, just say “the book says so” and carry on without the exhausting debate. — location: 959
People beg you to bend your rules to fit their agenda. So blame your book when you refuse. Saying “the book says so” helps your burden of responsibility. — location: 957
A good life is contribution. A good life is resisting temptation. A good life is being the best you can be. A good life is diligently following your book. — location: 964
Humor is the spirit of life — a sign of a healthy, vibrant mind and soul. — location: 973
Humor means using your mind beyond necessity, beyond reality, for both noticing and imagining. That’s why we admire a quick wit. It shows you quickly looked at something from many angles, found the one that amused you the most, and considerately expressed it to someone else. Observation, creativity, and empathy, all in an instant. — location: 974
To laugh at something is to be superior to it. Humor shows internal control. — location: 981
No matter what you need to do, there’s a playful, creative way to do it. Playing gives you personal autonomy and power. — location: 985
Comedy is tragedy plus time. Time belittles anything by showing it’s not as bad as it seemed. Humor does that instantly. — location: 991
Someone says life is hard. The comedian says, “Compared to what?” Comedians are philosophers. — location: 992
Humor helps you see the familiar from a surprising new perspective. — location: 994
Everyone wants to be with someone who’s having more fun. At every moment in life, choose whatever action or angle amuses you. — location: 1001
Things are going to get harder. The future will test your strength. — location: 1003
How can you thrive in an unknowable future? Prepare for the worst. Train your mind to be ready for whatever may come. This is how to live. — location: 1010
Picture all the things that could go wrong. Prepare for each, so they won’t surprise or hurt you. Never worry. — location: 1012
Disasters come suddenly, without warning. Tragedy hurts the most when it’s unexpected. But if you expect it, you take away its power. — location: 1017
To appreciate something fully, picture losing it. — location: 1029
Imagine losing your freedom, reputation, money, and home. Imagine losing your ability to see, hear, walk, or talk. Imagine the people you love dying tomorrow. Never take them for granted. — location: 1029
Luxury makes you soft, weak, and harder to satisfy. — location: 1033
Comfort reduces your future happiness. — location: 1035
You forget the perspective of how bad things could be. Practice being uncomfortable, even in small ways. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Skip eating for a day, or sugar for a month. — location: 1037
Own as little as possible. When you realize you’re dependent on something, get rid of it to prove you don’t need it. The less you have, the less you have to lose. — location: 1042
Want nothing, and nothing is outside your control. Want — location: 1045
Distinguish between what’s in your control and what isn’t. If it’s not in your control, put it out of your head. — location: 1046
Everything that happens is neutral. Your beliefs label it as good or bad. — location: 1051
The only way to change your happiness is to change your beliefs. Did someone make you angry? Did a situation make you sad? No. It’s all you. Nothing is good or bad. You just reacted as if it was. — location: 1052
Instead of changing the world, just change your reactions. When something happens, don’t interpret. No story, no “should have”, no judgment, not even an opinion. This is seeing clearly. — location: 1057
Detach from the outcome and be OK no matter what happens. — location: 1062
Shallow happy is pursuing pleasure. Deep happy is pursuing fulfillment. Fulfillment is more fun than fun. Visit your favorite places. Listen to your favorite music. Taste your favorite food. Touch your favorite people. This might be the last time you do all these things, so appreciate each moment fully. — location: 1075
People look out for each other. But nobody helps the unhelpful. — location: 1090
Never say, “Not my problem.” We’re all in this together. What’s good for your community is good for you. Whatever affects others affects you. — location: 1092
Helping others is a better path to happiness than helping only yourself. Giving makes you happier than receiving. — location: 1097
After age twenty, you need deliberate effort to make new friends. Friends are made, not found. — location: 1101
Small talk is just a way of matching the other person’s tone and mood. It helps them be comfortable with you. Be warm, open, and fully present with everyone you encounter. — location: 1106
Assume everyone is just as smart and deep as you. Assume their temperament is just their nature, and not their fault. Don’t be mad at them for being that way, for the same reason you can’t be mad at someone for being tall. Appreciate differences. — location: 1109
Whenever you’re thinking something nice about someone, tell them. A sincere compliment can put a lot of fuel in someone’s tank. People don’t hear enough compliments. — location: 1113
Be consistent. People can only depend on you if you’re consistent. Meet up regularly to maintain each friendship, so the connections grow stronger. — location: 1115
Always be kind, no matter how you feel. Imagine if you found out someone was going to die tomorrow. Imagine how much attention, compassion, and generosity you’d give them. Imagine how you’d forgive their faults. Imagine what you’d do to make their last day on Earth the best it could be. Now treat everyone like that, every day. — location: 1121
Success in business comes from helping people — bringing the most happiness to the most people. The best marketing is being considerate. The best sales approach is listening. Serve your clients’ needs, not your own. Business, when done right, is generous and focused on others. It draws you out of yourself, and puts you in service of humanity. — location: 1135
Money can represent freedom, safety, experience, generosity, attractiveness, power, or whatever you want. But really, money is as neutral as math. — location: 1148
Your biggest obstacle to getting rich is the harmful meaning you’ve attached to it. Your biggest advantage can be projecting a helpful meaning onto it. — location: 1151
Money is nothing more than a neutral exchange of value. Making money is proof you’re adding value to people’s lives. Aiming to get rich is aiming to be useful to the world. It’s striving to do more for others. Serving more. Sharing more. Contributing more. The world rewards you for creating value. — location: 1154
Pursue wealth because it’s moral, good, and unlimited. Money is social. It was invented to transfer value between people. One job pays way more than another because it has more social value. — location: 1159
To get rich, don’t think about what’s valuable to you. Think about what’s valuable to others. — location: 1161
The more something costs, the more people value it. By charging more, you’re actually helping them use it and appreciate it. Charge more than is comfortable to your current self-image. Value yourself higher, then rise to fit this valuation. — location: 1176
Aiming to be rich makes you think bigger, which is more exciting, more fun, and less conventional since most people don’t think big. — location: 1185
Boldly jump on opportunities. Take risky action. Create your own business. Come up with a brand name that can be attached to any business. — location: 1187
A recognized brand can charge a premium price, earning more than unrecognized names. Instead of thinking of customers as leading to a sale, think of each sale as leading to a life-long relationship with a customer. — location: 1190
Use other people’s ideas. Ideas are worth almost nothing. Execution is everything. The world is filled with ideas, yet so few take action and make them happen. — location: 1193
Best of all to be the owner. Own and control 100% of whatever you create. — location: 1196
Avoid competition. Never be another contender in the crowd, fighting for scraps. It doesn’t pay to do something anyone can do. Be separate — in a category of your own. Invent something completely new. Instead of fighting to split an existing dollar, inventing creates a dollar out of thin air. — location: 1201
Instead of making a key, then looking for a lock, find something locked, then make its key. — location: 1205
The fun is in creating a business, not maintaining it. — location: 1212
As soon as you have extra money, invest it. Investing is counter-intuitive. — location: 1212
Don’t over-think it. It’s better to do nothing than something. Keep it simple and manage it yourself. — location: 1219
Money is your servant, not your master. Don’t act rich. Don’t lose touch with regular people. — location: 1225
Stay frugal. Reducing your expenses is so much easier than increasing your income. — location: 1226
You don’t need to tell anyone you have money. You don’t even need to spend it. Don’t buy too many things, too big of a house, or hire too many people. — location: 1227
Nothing destroys money faster than seeking status. Don’t show off. — location: 1232
Don’t loan money to a friend, or you’ll lose your money and your friend. You’d be better off just giving them the money. The return is the same ($0), but you’d skip the bad feelings. — location: 1234
Say no to more stuff. Say yes to more choices. Then you’ll get philosophical, since you’ll have all the options in the world. — location: 1247
Money makes problems go away, but amplifies personality traits. Money won’t change you, but it will amplify who you are. — location: 1249
You only need to get rich once. When you win a game, you stop playing. — location: 1251
Definitions are not reasons. Definitions are just your old responses to past situations. — location: 1263
What you call your personality is just a past tendency. New situations need a new response. — location: 1264
Disagree with the question. You aren’t supposed to be easy to explain. Putting a label on a person is like putting a label on the water in a river. — location: 1267
You’re an ongoing event — a daily improvisation — responding to the situation of the moment. Your past is not your future. — location: 1274
You’ve changed so much over time. Your past self is as different from your current self as you are from other people. Your past self needs to step down, like a previous president, to let the new you run the show. — location: 1278
The way to live is to regularly reinvent yourself. Every year or two, change your job and move somewhere new. Change the way you eat, look, and talk. Change your preferences, opinions, and usual responses. Try the opposite of before. — location: 1282
At every little decision, ten times a day, choose the thing you haven’t tried. Act out of character. — location: 1287
Let go of your expertise. You built that boat to cross that river, so leave it there. Don’t drag it along with you. — location: 1290
The wise keep their hands free. — location: 1292
Knowing something is going to end gives you more appreciation for it. Every reinvention is the beginning, which is the most exciting time. — location: 1295
Here’s how to live: Love. Not love, the feeling, but love the active verb. It’s not something that happens to you. It’s something you do. You choose to love something or someone. — location: 1297
You can love anything or anyone you decide to love. Love is a combination of attention, appreciation, and empathy. — location: 1299
Choose to connect every time. Sharing is connecting. Share your knowledge. Share your home. Share your time. — location: 1307
Learning is loving. The more you learn about something, the more you can love it. Learn about a place to appreciate it. Learn about people to empathize with them. — location: 1310
If you are apathetic about or against something, learn more about it. Actively listen to people. When they’re succinct, ask them to elaborate. People aren’t used to someone being sincerely interested, so they’ll need some coaxing to continue. — location: 1313
Don’t text when you should talk. — location: 1318
Just be honest. If you’ve done something great, say so. If you’re not doing well, say so. If you have feelings for someone, and you don’t let that person know, you’re lying with your silence. — location: 1329
But ideally, when with others, be the same person you’d be when alone. — location: 1334
The more you really connect with people, the more you learn about yourself: what excites you, what drains you, what attracts you, and what intimidates you. — location: 1335
You say “I love you” but really mean “I love this”. Notice how you feel around people. — location: 1345
Don’t hope that someone is impressed. Impress yourself. Be your ideal self. — location: 1349
Once you’re in a relationship, avoid harming it. It’s easy to love someone’s best qualities, but it’s work to love their flaws. — location: 1354
Don’t try to change someone, or teach them a lesson, unless they ask you to. — location: 1356
When one of you is being childish, the other needs to be the adult. — location: 1357
Don’t make a life-long commitment based on an emotional state. — location: 1364
Just give them a great environment where they can thrive. Give them the safety to experiment, make mistakes, and fail up. — location: 1372
You don’t love someone to shape their future. You don’t judge your friendships by how successful your friend becomes. So don’t love and judge your children that way. Don’t try to change them. Just give them a great environment where they can thrive. Give them the safety to experiment, make mistakes, and fail up. — location: 1369
Most people die with everything still inside of them. The way to live is to create. Die empty. Get every idea out of your head and into reality. — location: 1377
All that matters is what you’ve launched. Make finishing your top priority. — location: 1380
That is the difference between consumer and creator. Which would you rather be? Someone who hasn’t created anything in years because you’re so busy consuming? Or someone who hasn’t consumed anything in years because you’re so busy creating? — location: 1382
It’s better to create something bad than nothing at all. You can improve something bad. You can’t improve nothing. — location: 1389
Creativity is a magic coin. The more you spend, the more you have. — location: 1392
Explore whatever excites you most. If you’re not excited by it, your audience won’t be either. — location: 1401
Imitate your heroes. It’s not copying because it won’t be the same. — location: 1403
Most creations are new combinations of existing ideas. — location: 1405
When you’ve finished a work, wait a while before you release it to the world. By then, you’re on to something new. The public comments won’t affect you, since they will be about your past work. — location: 1413
Live in a city. Cities are more conducive to creativity. Geniuses come from cities. It reminds you of your audience. — location: 1419
Collect ideas in a crowd. Create in silence and solitude. Like your bedroom, your work space needs to be private. This is where you dream and get naked. Forget the view outside your window. Focus on the view inside your head. — location: 1422
Charge money to make sure your creations are going to people who really want them. People don’t value what’s free. Charge for their sake as much as yours. Charge even if you don’t need the money. — location: 1429
When you’re gone, your work shows who you were. Not your intentions. Not what you took in. Only what you put out. — location: 1440
For something to succeed, everything needs to go right. For something to fail, only one thing needs to go wrong. — location: 1444
Don’t try to be more right. Just be less wrong. — location: 1445
Avoiding failure leads to success. The winner is usually the one who makes the least mistakes. — location: 1446
Win by not losing. — location: 1448
What do you want out of life? That’s hard to answer. What don’t you want? That’s easy. More than anything, we want a lack of negatives. — location: 1452
people focus on having the upsides in life. Instead, focus on avoiding the downsides. — location: 1460
To have good people in your life, just cut out the bad ones. — location: 1463
Don’t waste a single minute. Life can be long if you use time wisely. — location: 1463
Death reminds us that time is limited and precious. Without death, there would be no motivation. Death gives value to life — gives us something to lose. Keep your eye on death. Avoid the mistakes that end life. — location: 1466
You learn best from your mistakes. This is true. So you should deliberately make as many mistakes as possible. — location: 1470
Try absolutely everything, all the time, expecting everything to fail. Just make sure that you capture the lessons from each experience. And never make the same mistake twice. — location: 1472
You’ll learn more lessons in a day than others learn in a year. — location: 1475
Jump into action without hesitation or worry. You’ll be faster and do more than everyone else. What takes them a month will take you an hour, so you can do it ten times a day. — location: 1480
Learn by hands-on experience. The more mistakes you make, the faster you learn. — location: 1483
Just keep a log. A mistake only counts as experience if you learn from it. Record what you learned, and review it. Otherwise, it was a waste. — location: 1490
Take on big challenges. Start a company in Silicon Valley. Ask investors for millions. Audition for Hollywood movies. Invite your dream date to dinner. — location: 1492
Create predicaments. Get into trouble. Being desperate leads to creative solutions. This gives you emotional stability. No mistake will upset you. — location: 1496
If you’re never wrong, you never change. Keep making mistakes, so you can keep changing, learning, and growing. Share your stories from all your mistakes for the benefit of the world. — location: 1512
Every plane crash makes the next one less likely. — location: 1514
Here’s how to live: Make change. Change — location: 1515
All your learning and thinking is wasted if you don’t take action. — location: 1516
This is how we make progress. What fails is forgotten. What works is called innovation. Begin by righting what’s wrong. — location: 1531
Look for what’s ugly: ugly systems, ugly rules, ugly traditions. Look for what bothers you. If you can fix it, do it now. — location: 1533
Sometimes you don’t know what to add, but you know what to remove. — location: 1540
Change others. Changing minds and hearts can have more impact than physical change. A great speech can do the work of a thousand soldiers. — location: 1552
All bad things in life come from extremes. Too much of this. Too little of that. — location: 1572
Balance time with others and time alone. Balance your need for stability with your need for surprise. Balance input and output, consumption and creation, stability and adventure, body and spirit. — location: 1593
Like a hunter’s dog, the clock will be your best ally. It will — location: 1598
The best tool for a balanced life is the clock. Like a hunter’s dog, the clock will be your best ally. It will guard you, keep your impulses in check, and protect what’s important to you. Schedule everything to ensure balance of your time and effort. Scheduling prevents procrastination, distraction, and obsession. — location: 1597
Schedule quality time with dear friends. Schedule preventative health checkups. Schedule focused time to learn. Schedule each aspect of your life, ignoring none. — location: 1602
A routine triggers inspiration because your mind and body learn that ideas emerge at that time. The world’s greatest achievements were squeezed into existence by deadlines. — location: 1609
Set an alarm to start and stop on time. Obey your schedule, no matter how you feel. Schedule every hour of your day. Distraction steals what’s not locked down. Once you’re living a balanced life, find new layers. — location: 1611
Balance your needs versus the needs of others. Balance your knowledge. Read books on core subjects you know nothing about. — location: 1614
Balance two languages. A second language is one of the best things for your brain, and can add a new type of balance, like living half the year in another culture, speaking only your other language. — location: 1619