Metadata
- Author: Renuka Gavrani
Highlights
David Foster Wallace says, “You’ll stop worrying what others think about you when you realize how seldom they do.” — location: 66
It’s quite ironic but your biggest enemy and critic is no one else but YOU. — location: 68
Stop feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have enough people to post a cute selfie on the internet. Stop thinking that you are a weirdo or there is something wrong with you. There is no need to feel lonely or sorry for yourself. Being alone is a part of life, it’s a part of adulting. Your friends and mates cannot stay with you for the rest of your life. Life moves pretty fast and everyone is trying to run faster so that they aren’t left behind. — location: 85
The simple truth of life is, people leave, for good or bad, and life goes on. — location: 88
there will be times when people will get bored of you and they will find another toy to play with. That’s how it is. — location: 90
I know that it may sound a little cliché but being alone and being lonely are two different things. — location: 100
Taylor Swift said once, “the scary news is, you are on your own now. But the cool news is, you are on your own now” — location: 122
your imagination shapes your reality — location: 163
I come across a lot of people but I know in the end that they and I are in touch with each other for the sake of networking. After college, you don’t make friends. You just network. You just try to be nice to people so you are not left behind (mostly). — location: 175
We start becoming like an ideal version of whom everyone loves. — location: 191
We don’t want to seem a weirdo, we don’t want people to think that no one chose us so what do we do? We start becoming like an ideal version of whom everyone loves. We start saying YES to things that we hate. We start dressing up in clothes that make us uncomfortable or are out of our budget but at the same time help us get noticed, accepted, and acknowledged. We start speaking the words we find cringe. We start saying things that are most acceptable and popular. — location: 190
It starts with you trying to become someone you are not because you wanted to fit in. — location: 203
In the race of achieving people’s acceptance and love, you end up losing yourself. — location: 206
We do the things that seem cool instead of trying new things that our soul wants. I am a pro at that. I want to learn a bunch of new things but I don’t have time. Yet if any of my friends call me and share their shit, I will be all ears so that they have a shoulder to cry on. — location: 218
But I know one thing that you fall in with someone when you get to know them. Isn’t it? — location: 243
and others. If you don’t know yourself, you will make similar mistakes in your relationships with everyone and then if people leave you, you will say “Why doesn’t anyone want to be with me? Maybe I am not just lovable, or maybe there is something wrong with me that pushes people away.” — location: 289
If you don’t know yourself, you will make similar mistakes in your relationships with everyone and then if people leave you, you will say “Why doesn’t anyone want to be with me? Maybe I am not just lovable, or maybe there is something wrong with me that pushes people away.” — location: 290
Self-love is about knowing everything about yourself, however ugly or dark or bad your truth is, and accepting yourself with it. Self-love is about knowing how to transform your flaws into your strengths rather than hiding them inside you so that no one can see them. — location: 293
Self-love is about choosing yourself every single day to study your patterns, examine your behavior, knowing your thoughts (even if they are mean at times). Self-love is about creating a home deep inside you where you can be YOU without worrying about healing, pretending, or perfectionism. You are beautiful with your dark side not by hiding them under the mask of goodness. — location: 295
there is a lot inside you. But it is all a part of you so there is no permanent escape. You have to face it all. One day at a time. One thought, one regret, one guilt, one bad decision at a time. — location: 360
You and I are a piece of everything we owned, every place we have traveled, every person we met, and every word we read. Everything leaves a mark on our soul that paints our personality into who we are today. — location: 432
If you want to know yourself, you have to be interested in yourself for the rest of your life. And you must remember one thing, You are beyond a particular tag. You cannot be labeled. Be undefinable. Let them wonder who you are while you create a personality for yourself that makes you fall in love with yourself every day. — location: 449
If you cannot figure out who you are, figure out who you are not and who you don’t want to be. — location: 459
The advice: If you cannot figure out who you are, figure out who you are not and who you don’t want to be. — location: 458
Take it as your assignment or task or whatever you want to call it. Sit down every day for 5 minutes, alone with no disturbance around you. Let yourself be immersed in your personality. Write down one or two things that you think you don’t like and then write why you don’t like those things. It will help you to know your values, hence, getting closer to yourself a little. Not only that, but you will also understand that you are not a follower and that you don’t accept every definition that’s been thrown at you. It will help you THINK INDEPENDENTLY without accepting the world’s definition. — location: 465
TASK: Take it as your assignment or task or whatever you want to call it. Sit down every day for 5 minutes, alone with no disturbance around you. Let yourself be immersed in your personality. Write down one or two things that you think you don’t like and then write why you don’t like those things. It will help you to know your values, hence, getting closer to yourself a little. Not only that, but you will also understand that you are not a follower and that you don’t accept every definition that’s been thrown at you. It will help you THINK INDEPENDENTLY without accepting the world’s definition. — location: 464
Give your opinions only when specifically asked. Otherwise, keep your thoughts inside you. — location: 475
go ahead and make a list of everything that you think you are not, or what you never want to be. — location: 479
“If you compromise with your principles once, it will become your habit to cheat your principles and do what’s cool.” — location: 483
Once you set the lines clear for yourself, you stop taking the garbage in. You stop taking the bare minimum from people. You stop laughing at jokes that aren’t funny and you stop saying yes to everything because now you know what you are not, what you don’t want, and what you will never be. It raises your standard. It makes you feel that you are not here to adjust to everyone or everything. You simply learn to reject what you know you don’t want. It’s that simple. — location: 487
Though, what I realized is that people are on and off in everyone’s life. They come and go, for good or bad. — location: 528
Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born. — location: 599
Your real guidance is YOU. Your heart knows what needs to be done and your mind is capable enough to figure out ‘how.’ — location: 635
Just as your body needs the time to digest what you eat, your brain also needs the time to digest what you consume. And that time is the period of ‘conscious solitude’ where you choose to sit alone to let your brain digest whatever you consumed without any disturbance or external noise. — location: 665
The thoughts that enter your mind when you are alone and disconnected from the world are the thoughts that actually reflect who you are, what matters to you, and what’s your thought process. — location: 679
Reflect on what is important and delete what’s not. So that there is enough space again to feed your brain again. You need to give your mind the time to reset and let it be alone for a while to create your own world that is unique, artistic, and known only to you. — location: 689
expect you also understand that you cannot force your body to eat constantly for 2 hours. I mean, it’s a dumb question but I am just making sure that we are on the same page. You eat, you feel stuffed and then you don’t eat for another 4-5 hours until you feel hungry again, right? Well, then why do you treat your brain like a dustbin? Why do you keep consuming content (either through social media/videos/books) like your brain can take it all consistently for hours? — location: 657
Okay, good. I expect you also understand that you cannot force your body to eat constantly for 2 hours. I mean, it’s a dumb question but I am just making sure that we are on the same page. You eat, you feel stuffed and then you don’t eat for another 4-5 hours until you feel hungry again, right? Well, then why do you treat your brain like a dustbin? Why do you keep consuming content (either through social media/videos/books) like your brain can take it all consistently for hours? — location: 656
We are always busy. One task after another. One email after another. One video after another. One thought after another. The cycle never ends. We never take a pause to reflect on who we are becoming, what we are losing, what we are thinking, or what our thought process is. — location: 699
In Eat, Pray, and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, she introduces an Italian concept: Dolce Far Niente, ‘the sweetness of doing nothing.’ Doing nothing means doing absolutely nothing. No mobile or social media. No book or gossiping. Just you in the moment with no hidden purpose. It means slowing down, without hurling your mind in multiple directions, and just being. — location: 710
“You are who you are, whether you like it or not, so why not like it?” — location: 764
The problem is we don’t ask ourselves what do we want in life, we try to copy the most successful person around us so that we can also become ‘successful.’ — location: 824
If you take just one thing from this book, remember this, “Learn to define your definition of everything. Don’t make your life a wishlist of what you think everyone has.” — location: 855
Just as we have practiced following the rules and fixed definitions of society, now we will learn to create our personal rules and definition of everything. — location: 864
feel motivated at the moment. But after a few days, you will forget about it. Why? Because it didn’t come from you so it didn’t fit in your life. — location: 873
Take your own decisions. Build your definition of everything. Think before you accept anything from society. — location: 881
Without knowing what you want to change, what will — location: 890
You need to sit down and make a conscious list of ‘what are some of the things you don’t like in yourself or your life.’ Knowing what needs to be changed is the first step toward your dream life. — location: 890
Life doesn’t change one day magically, YOU CHANGE HOW YOU LIVE EVERY DAY. — location: 898
One of the biggest mistakes we make while trying to improve ourselves is that we focus on everything at once. — location: 920
Step 1: The Power of One Thing One of the biggest mistakes we make while trying to improve ourselves is that we focus on everything at once. We try to hit the gym every day, make a gratitude list every day, eat healthy every day, and the like. And focusing on everything at once drags us down to a level where we find ourselves giving up on everything and later accusing ourselves of being a failure. You cannot change everything at once. And if you try to, you will just burn yourself. You will make the journey toxic and suffocating for yourself. And even after working so hard, when you don’t get results in any of the areas, you just give up on everything. And what does that do? It lowers your self-respect. You start thinking that you can never achieve anything good in life. The — location: 919
The catch is to focus on one thing at a time. Why? Because changing one thing in your routine is easier. It easily sinks in. And when you start seeing the result in one area, not only do you feel happy but your self-respect increases too. You get the confidence for trying to improve more things in your life. — location: 926
After reading over 200 books, if there is anything that I have understood, its - action is the cure of almost everything. — location: 952
You will find a lot of flaws in how you are living today. There might be a bunch of things that you don’t like about your life at the moment. But you need to understand that you are not a magician. You cannot make everything work at once. You need to become an essentialist here. Choose the ONE BIGGEST ISSUE you are facing in your life right now. What is that ONE thing which keeps pulling you down? — location: 954
remember that you are a human. You cannot focus on multiple things at once with similar efficiency. When you are focused on improving one thing, not only it becomes easier to measure your performance but you also feel excited. You don’t feel the pressure of changing your world in one day. — location: 962
And I know it’s easier said than done but enough of making excuses for not trying something you always wanted to. Your inner self has been waiting forever for you to catch up on life and start doing things that matter to you. — location: 1076
The point is either you find joy or the worry finds you. — location: 1100
Ask yourself what you wanted to learn but you never gave your own interest enough attention. Is it dancing? or learning a new language? Whatever it is, just focus on learning it. Make your alone time = your growth time. — location: 1123
I always needed someone to guide me. That’s when books helped me. Whatever I needed help with, I would start reading a book on that topic. That’s it. — location: 1149
If there is any topic that piques your curiosity, don’t let it die a slow death in your mind. Get up and search about that topic on the Internet. Go on YouTube or Masterclass. The point is to FEED your brain with knowledge, not garbage. — location: 1169
If you read a book, write everything you learned and everything you would want to implement in your life. If there is a person who inspires you, create a profile of that person in your notebook. Write the name of the person, add his/her picture, and then write everything you learned about this person. Let this notebook or separate folder be the symbol of your first step toward your transformation. Let this book define that you are ready to grow in life and build your best version. — location: 1178
“Do the things that you wanted to do with others” — location: 1207
Task: If possible, write an ‘I missed myself’ letter to yourself. I know it sounds kind of weird but try it. Write down how you have been missing yourself. Write how you have been ignorant towards yourself and why you will never repeat this mistake. Write how you never did everything you ever wanted and how you will do everything you always wanted to from now on. — location: 1229